Compliance?

 Compliance?

 I recently had a scare. My husband, Jay, came to me and told me that he thought that he had had a heart attack earlier one morning. I can tell you, I thought my heart stopped for a few moments as he told me this. After some back and forth about whether or not he was willing to go to a doctor, we decided to go to an emergency room.

 We live quite a way out of town so that 30 minute drive was a long one. All I could think was that I hoped we got to the emergency room before he had another heart attack. Granted, I have taken several CPR classes over the years, but I really didn’t want to have to try to remember my training that morning. So I drove with caution and haste. Caution because I had no plans of him stressing out, or for us to have an accident. Haste…. Because…. Well, you know….

Finally, I pulled up to the front door of the Emergency Room. Jay said he was ok to walk in on his own. I watched as he walked in the door looking a little haggard but mobile and coherent. Knowing that he was now inside with trained professionals, I felt OK parking the car in the lot across the street. Now as I parked I was becoming more concerned about the current state of affairs at hospitals and whether or not I would be allowed to accompany him into the exam rooms, or even into the lobby.

 I didn’t want him to be alone during this stressful moment of life, and honestly I didn’t want to the stress of not being able to be with him and to know what was going on. Thankfully, they took my temperature and I had to walk through a full body metal detector, but I was allowed to accompany him all the way back to his exam room.

 He was put through the normal battery of tests. Blood work, EKG, Chest X-Ray, and they even added taking a look at his skull and neck with a CT scan in case there was something obviously neurological going on. His blood work came back great, he wasn’t even de-hydrated which was one of the things I was starting to consider as we talked about his symptoms and how they had set on. His EKG was normal, Chest X-Ray normal, CT scan normal. All in all he was testing normal and healthy.

 I was finally breathing deeply again, and he was joking around about the anomaly that he is.

 So what caused the onset dizziness and numbing of arms and legs that caused him to think he was having a heart attack? It could have been many things, especially when we look at the whole person rather than just the heart or brain, but let’s get to that a little later.

What the doctor then proceeded to do was to tell him that he looked good and they could not discern what might have occurred but that he should take blood-thinners and a statin drug with the encouragement to follow up with a Neurologist.

This is where I began to feel uncomfortable. Basically you are saying that he is fine but here take these medications? I thought. So I began asking about side effects with the statin because I know there are several. I was told that the only side effect is cramping. I asked what causes the cramping? I was told that they don’t know but it isn’t usually serious and that taking CoQ10 can alleviate some of these.

 I asked if they had done a cholesterol test. No was the reply, this is not something they do in an emergency situation. I was becoming more and more concerned about this prescription as the doctor then told me that even though they did not do a cholesterol test that they would treat it as high cholesterol until an actual test could be done by a general practitioner. I was told that statistically this is the treatment that they give men in Jay’s age range for potential heart or neurological issues, so they felt that it makes sense to give it to him.

All I could think is that he is not a statistic but that he is an individual. A unique individual. My thoughts were reeling about the fact that Jay was being prescribed a medication that he may or may not need based upon the fact that he was presenting as a healthy individual and that there are statistics to support this prescription.

I was being told all of this with a punctuated “Do you understand?” after each point. I’d say yes I understand – this guy really didn’t know how much time I have spent reading and listening to health summits and engaging with health care from a well-rounded perspective. Then as I’m sure he could tell that I had not fully bought into the medication ideology, he ended his “Do you understand” points with, “Well this is my recommendation and I hope you comply.”

I had to take a deep breath on that one. Comply? Comply? This is where we are, you are asking me to comply. All I could say was that it is up to Jay. Jay will decide what he does. What I really wanted to do was to just get the heck out of there at that point.

Don’t get me wrong. I feel blessed that Jay got the care he did today. I felt that everyone there was doing the best job they could and were very thorough about what could have been a life threatening situation.

I’m sure somewhere in his training this doctor was taught to say this line. I hope you comply. Comply. You mean as to look at your “recommendation” as an order rather than a recommendation and a blessing for good health in whatever path this patient chooses. We were guilted into compliance by a doctor who was trained to do so. They are not God. They are health professionals looking at a person, in this case, for the first time and looking at just one area of that person.

This whole compliance issue really rubbed me wrong. I was told by someone with whom I was sharing that they could tell that I had been triggered. No, I don’t feel as though I was triggered, I feel that my emotional intelligence allowed me to sense when something was off in the situation. I felt as though my intelligence was being disregarded and that I was being shamed into doing something that I had questions about. I was not given the recommendation to look at the risks vs the benefits of the drugs and why he felt that the benefits far outweigh the risks. I was told that I should comply. This projected shame manifested into a feeling of anger (not uncontrollable rage) but the anger one feels when they refuse to receive the projection and wish to restore the boundary being violated by the situation. This anger gave me heightened awareness and intelligence in the situation. Emotional intelligence which converted into actionable intelligence.

A trigger is when emotions rise that take control of the situation because of past trauma that a current event or statement. I was not out of control. If that was the case I would have left or yelled right then. I was grounded and present and wanted to know why these drugs were being prescribed when you have just told us that Jay is healthy with nothing that can be found at this appointment. I was concerned that I was then told to just comply after I had asked too many questions.

What I feel we should have been told was to do a follow up blood work for cholesterol as well as the neurologist. This recommendation was not part of the compliance it felt like they wanted. Just take these pills since we can’t find anything is what it felt like in the end.

I feel bad for the medical professionals who have to do this. They are merely drug pushers. They are not given the opportunity to be healers. I know that emergency situations are unique and I have no idea what it must be like to work in that environment. I honor those who have been chosen to follow that path. I just wish their training involved a little more effort in encouraging individuals to take personal responsibility with their health care.

In Jay’s situation, all the testing that was done was a complete blessing. I was scared that we were looking at a really serious acute situation. Once we determined that this was not the case, it’s time to address the likely more chronic situation and clearly the emergency venue is not the place for that. They are there to save lives when lives are at extreme risk of being lost. I would have felt much more comfortable with them saying: “Hey, congratulations we find that you are not in extreme risk right now. Great news, but this event that scared you is a warning sign. Here are several places I would follow up (and a list or pamphlet is given that empowers the patient to make an educated decision)”

Why isn’t this type of empowerment given to a patient? I recommend and I bless you as an adult to find the path which is best for you as an individual. Release this person into the opportunity to be a whole person. Release the attachment that they take medication or even follow your recommendations.

 Instead we are told “I recommend and I hope you comply.” COMPLY! Making the only person in the room with any power the one offering the one recommendation. One recommendation, not several ideas. This type of verbiage/energy disempowers the individual and creates the God complex around medical professionals.

As I said before, I was asked several times if I understood and if I had questions. I noticed very quickly that my deeper questions about individuality and the whole person were not on the table to be discussed. Compliance, medication and statistics were. So I just stopped asking questions to this man who really couldn’t go there. Again, I’m not making him wrong because he was following his training.

My take away from this event is that I am grateful. I am so appreciative for all of those who stepped up to help Jay. I am grateful that I was there to be able to advocate for Jay. He was in a stressful situation and was just going along to get along the whole way. I was the one who kept asking questions. I am grateful for my life’s path of old health issues that led me to questioning authority and in so doing finding the information that I have found on the risks associated with certain medications such as statins. I am grateful that Jay took the time to look into the risks before just taking the medications. I am grateful for the Neurologist who confirmed that Jay does not need the medications prescribed. I am grateful that Jay had this event so that he is forced to take a deeper look at his physical, mental and emotional health before we were dealing with a life threatening reality.

I am grateful to you for reading this. If you would like more information about some of the alternatives that I incorporate in order to address the whole person in a healthy life please contact me at journeywithrobin.com We can discuss how much I respect your own internal wisdom and how we can work together to enhance that.